A long time ago, when I was still in high-school, I wrote a
poem called “A Night Out” for the school poetry competition. It is not the world’s best
poem – I include it though because the ideas the motivated me to write it are
ones that still occupy me today. It follows below.
A
Night Out
Impotent
accountants with ulcers
Slip
glistening oysters down rippling throats
In
acrylic restaurants; their wives raise toasts
And
roll back their eyes. Outside traffic pulses
An
unsteady rhythm; the swimming night
Intoxicates
the burning crowd that flood
The
pavement; passions dissolve in blood
And
breath that breaths “I love” but shies from light.
Alone
in bright swarming dark, think of those
In
silent homes; fevered dreams like dew dry;
Trembling
reach for hollow pills, clench cold eyes,
To
extinguish pain felt in unknown bones.
Night-club
beat echoes pound a sound through nerves;
The
pavement stirs like ocean waters;
Unheard
by all, the faint rustling mutter
Of
earnest prayers rising from cancer wards.
The
accountant and wife find some satisfaction;
The
revelling crowd unravels at dawn;
The
pavement seems solid, substantial and calm;
The
vivid mind contrives a worldly remission.
The
psychic from the next room bends a fork.
The
audience claps then chats as before.
The
thoughts crystallize and drop to the floor.
My
body billows and wavers like smoke.
This is a poem, at heart, about the Placebo effect. When I
was young I was hyper-rational, rejecting all notions that evoked the
supernatural, such as the idea of ghosts or God – consequently, when I learned
about the Placebo effect, I found it profoundly disturbing. How could the mind
have influence over the body, how could a disease be arrested or cured by
belief alone? It seemed bizarre and frightening and so strongly affected me
that I have worried about it ever since. Despite my youthful faith in science,
I now have a grudging acceptance of the power of magic. The Placebo effect is
real, and I understand furthermore that it is increasingly being recognized
by the medical world as an integral part of any treatment. According to Supernatural
Selection, an anthropological work about the origins of religion that I am currently reading, it has even been suggested that the term
‘placebo effect’ should be replaced by another term, ‘contextual healing’ – the
author Matt Rossano offers evidence that people who attend church regularly
live around seven years longer than non-attendees and have significantly lower
rates of mental illness. If religion can bring about health benefits, it can
only be as a result of the Placebo effect (unless one wants to entertain the
alternative hypothesis that God exists and actually answers prayers).
Realistically, the mechanism through which the placebo effect
operates must be suggestion. If I consult with a physician, I put my trust in
her and am inclined to accept the diagnosis that she makes. Much of the
therapeutic value of medicine, as it was in the middle ages, is still based on
the power of subconscious suggestion. (Consider homeopathy or acupuncture,
therapies that are, when exposed to rational scrutiny, totally risible – and
yet often successful.) Naturally, the general public don’t want to know that
their doctors are more shamans than scientists, and the doctors themselves
certainly don’t want the public to know this. Nevertheless, it is true.
It is at this point in the post that I want to propose my
unpalatable hypothesis. Regular readers of my blog will know that, although I
usually focus on literary theory, I occasionally touch on other topics, such
as schizophrenia and my own stories. I have also on occasion alluded to issues of
sexuality, such as in the post on David Foster Wallace and, more humorously, in
the short story 69. My unpalatable
hypothesis is this: that homosexuality might be caused by subconscious
suggestion. Homosexuals are made, not born. The unconscious suggestions that produces it may occur over many years, starting in childhood or adolescence, or
may occur infrequently but at times when a person is under stress and highly
suggestible. This hypothesis, that homosexuality is caused by subconscious
suggestion, I imagine will seem ridiculous to most ordinary heterosexuals,
heterosexuals who, if they think about it all, attribute the cause of
homosexuality to ‘a gay gene’ or to some aspect of the mother-child
relationship in infancy. The inconvenient truth, though, is that a person’s
sexuality can change. It is possible, although I admit this seems incredible,
for a person’s sexual identity to be destabilized by something amounting to
hypnosis. The hypothesis is disagreeable, yes, I admit, because it amounts to
an attack on the idea of an inviolate Self, but this does not make if false.
Consider the following scenario. An eighteen year old male
presents in the psychiatrist’s office with psychosis. He believes that God is
talking to him though television advertisements and the newspaper. Perhaps
there is a sexual component to his psychosis. The psychiatrist, out of malice
perhaps, decides to diagnose the patient as a repressed homosexual and advises
him to “stop avoiding”. The young man, who is in a highly vulnerable and
suggestible state, understands the implication but is unable to fight back.
Because it is oblique rather than direct, the patient cannot challenge his
psychiatrist’s opinion. The ‘suggestion’ (and this is what it effectively is)
does not have immediate effect, though.
Rather it worms its way into the young psychotic’s subconscious mind and lies dormant for a long time, perhaps for years, before erupting into a full blown sexual crisis at some later stage. By the time the crisis occurs, the original suggestion may well have been
forgotten.
The Placebo effect can create illness as well as cure it.
This unpalatable hypothesis seems to be bourn out by the world. If you
talk to Gay men, you often find out that they don’t know themselves why they
are Gay – I think this supports my hypothesis. These men have forgotten the original
suggestions that destabilized their identities; furthermore they reshape their
memories to fit their current identity. Interestingly, I believe it is more
intelligent people who are most susceptible to suggestion. Stephen Frye is no
mental slouch and neither was David Foster Wallace. You may believe me an idiot
for making the claim that something so apparently essential as sexual identity
can be altered by subconscious suggestion, but the evidence is all around us –
and is often found in popular music. I would adduce, for example, the song “The
Gentle Art of Making Enemies” by Faith No More and the song “Knives Out” by
Radiohead – or, to pick a song from the Gay perspective instead, “Bang and
Blame” by REM. The unconscious
mind is not separate from the situations in which its possessor finds himself
and is collective rather than individual. Jung had a point.
You may wonder why I am interested in this topic. I feel I
should confess that I have experienced psychosis myself – but the scenario I
invented above is not autobiographical. For one thing, significantly, I was
twenty-seven (not eighteen) when I first became ‘unwell’ and came to the
attention of the psychiatrists. At the time, I had formed the delusional belief
that the world was ruled by a massive conspiracy of closet homosexuals. I didn't tell anyone what I believed at this time. This was the
Bush era. Perhaps my belief was credible. (I jest of course.) It is true, though, that my
psychiatrist told me, at the first consultation, to ‘stop avoiding’ and I have
hated him ever since.
I hope that disclosing this rather stupid episode in my
history does not impugn my credibility as a scholar of film and literature.
It was a long time ago now.